Home for the Holidays or Alone for the Holidays?

Ana Lefebvre
I crossed my eyes out because that was the old me. The one with no self esteem and self worth.

How to be alone for the holidays.

Oh, it is the Holiday season, again. It happens every year, but somehow a good percentage of us that celebrate the holidays are not ready, sometimes year after year.

I’ll take you back several years in my life. November 25th, like clockwork, the Christmas tree was up, and outside lights were lit (neighborhood competition). Christmas presents were already bought (I had at least 20 people on my list) and I had already started purchasing all of the dried products for Christmas Day’s menu if I was staying in town.

If I was staying in town, I was cooking Christmas Eve lasagna. It would take all day because I made the sauce from scratch (I am originally from New Jersey). I would start Christmas Dinner preparation on the 23rd and on the 25th I would host breakfast and dinner. On one of my last carnivorous Christmas, everyone had their own Cornish hen.

My dog would have a costume and cookies would be made and on standby. Spiked eggnog and Apple Cider along with 5 different alcohols were always available. If you wanted to eat and drink, you would come to my house. 

That was several years ago. 

Fast forward to today…I haven’t trimmed the Christmas tree in years. I haven’t cooked Christmas dinner in years. Looking back I thought my life would be completely different on all Holidays going forward. Oh, they are different alright.

Full transparency, in 2019 I was making happy videos on Instagram and wishing everyone Happy Holidays, but I didn’t get out of bed. I had to plan Christmas parties for other people, but I did not get out of bed. I flew to another state to run away from my shattered life, but I didn’t get out of bed. After that year I knew I had to change my narrative, so I did.

Here’s how to go forward when you are alone for the Holidays. I don’t mean that you are completely alone, I mean alone romantically.

1. Who gives a F, you were alone for at least part of the year. Don’t make a big deal of it now

Think about the money that you are saving on gifts and just spend it on yourself. You can probably give yourself a better gift than anyone else can. If you want to give, give to charity. Donate to a foundation. Bless someone. Give. 

2. Start a new tradition

Do you have the holidays off? Do things you couldn’t do if you were in a relationship. Productive things. Go to a spa on Christmas eve. Start a Christmas tradition with your family and friends. If you are seriously pining keep productively busy. Get yourself ready for the New Year. Plan the trip you always wanted to take. Have you ever taken a vacation by yourself? It is seriously empowering.

3. Take a vacation

If you want to get away, get away if you can. Prices will be cheaper in certain destinations because it is the Holidays. If you can’t get away or can’t afford to order your favorite food, watch your favorite movie, or take a bath. Relax. Hopefully, your home is so peaceful that you can take a mini vacation in it. It will be okay. 

4. Surround yourself with family and/or friends.

If you have them. I live away from my family now, so I had to come to a place where I had to be accepting and happy to be alone for the holidays. Ignoring the holidays does not help but instead being happy within yourself. I take a small piece of something I would traditionally do and implement it. 

5. Be happy that you are alive

Waking up thankful will help your mental health immensely. It really is just a holiday even if it is a magical one. Make your own magic. You really have to find what makes you happy and focus on that. It is just another day, respectfully. 

If you are really serious about not spending another holiday alone read these articles next.

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