Top 4 Rules for the Casual Sex Relationship

Casual Sex- Sexual Activity Between Individuals That Are Not Committed to Each Other

Top 4 Rules for the Casual Sex Relationship

This topic was sparked during Love and Lust’s Episode 23 I do not believe anything you say After Sex. A Page From My F***Buddy Rule Book (Ft. Westside).

Make sure you listen to or watch the Love and Lust podcast about Casual Sex. If you have any questions, please e-mail Ana Lefebvre at itsanalefebvre@gmail.com.  

When it comes to casual hookups, communication and respect are key. Here are some general guidelines that might be helpful:

1. Consent is Non-Negotiable:

Always prioritize consent and ensure that both parties are comfortable and enthusiastic about what’s happening.

2. Clear Communication:

Be upfront about your intentions and expectations. Make sure both parties are on the same page regarding the nature of the hookup.

3. Respect Boundaries:

Respect each other’s boundaries and limits. If someone is uncomfortable or wants to stop, it’s important to honor that.

4. Protection is a Must:

Use protection to prevent STDs and unwanted pregnancies. Safety should always be a priority.

5. Be Honest:

Be honest about your intentions and avoid leading someone on if you’re not looking for anything more than a hookup.

6. Respect Afterward:

Treat each other with kindness and respect, even after the hookup. Be courteous and considerate of each other’s feelings.

7. Avoid Assumptions:

Don’t assume this hookup means more than it does. It’s essential to manage expectations and not assume a casual encounter implies a deeper connection or commitment.

8. Privacy and Discretion:

Respect each other’s privacy. What happens between both of you should stay between both of you.

9. Check-In:

It’s good practice to check in afterward to ensure everything was okay and that both parties are feeling comfortable and content.

10. Know When to End It:

If one person starts developing feelings or if circumstances change, be ready to end the casual arrangement respectfully.

Remember, these are general guidelines, and it’s crucial to communicate openly and honestly with your hookup partner. Every situation and individual is different, so being attentive and considerate is essential.

Prior to this Love and Lust Episode, I didn’t believe anything that is said after sex, but after this episode, I have changed my mind. I have changed the rule to the first 48. The first 24 before and then the 24 hours after a casual hookup, one-night stand/ two-night stand, situationship, entanglement, or just plainly – a casual sex relationship.

Now, this is with someone that you do not have any commitment to and have never talked about a future with or have discussed a future with and they have not confirmed that they want one with you. One of those stagnant casual sex situations that are clearly just a good time.

I think that sometimes we forget to enjoy the moments and we try to impose our ideas of a relationship on something that should be one of those situations of “it is what it is”. We look for more into something that we have not communicated that we want more with. Keep in mind, most relationships end. Not everyone is compatible or good for us.

Here are my Top 4 Casual Sex Rules that will keep every thing casual.

  1. You can not change someone; therefore, if they say they do not want anything that represents a commitment. Believe them. Now, if you can handle that, treat your situation as a casual sex relationship and do not push for more unless the person agrees to more.

2. Do not give relationship benefits to a casual sex relationship. You are giving this person too much of yourself and perhaps blocking your true match, by spending too much time with this person or putting too much energy into this casual sex engagement. Do not blur the lines. It is what it is.

3. Don’t believe the sweet nothings that are whispered in your ear when the person fails to commit to anything. This aligns with the topic of the first 48.

Now, I was asked if this applies to both males and females. I am heavy into communication. Why would something be acknowledged and said one time? I also express in other episodes of Love and Lust, that the bedroom is the room to relax and have fun. It shouldn’t be the place where you hold heavy conversations and discussions even if it is a casual hook-up.

4. Know when to end it.  The spark will eventually fade and it will be time to move on. Do not ghost the other person, but communicate when it’s time for you to move on. 

Related: 14 Tips for Female O

  • The female libido depends on the individual. 
  • I have explained in previous podcasts that about 70% of women do not have an orgasm from sexual intercourse. My question to you, if you were used to not having an orgasm, would you always want sex?
  • Female Oral Sex is extremely important since this how most females reach an orgasm, but is seen as optional*.
  • There’s no female viagra (think about that).

Did you know that females can have multiple orgasms and different types?

photo of woman behind door

Side Chick Contract

A “side chick contract” is a term that gained popularity in casual and colloquial language, often on social media or in pop culture references. It’s not a legally binding document but rather a humorous or sarcastic way to describe an agreement between two people involved in a non-primary relationship. Here’s a breakdown of what such a “contract” might involve:

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