1. Get Over It
I spent a lot of time staying emotionally stuck in a situation. I would brood over what went wrong and then try to find 50 different ways to do it differently. What I didn’t realize was that while I was doing this, I wasn’t moving on.
Things are going to happen in life, but you have to move on, because in the bigger scheme of things, it is probably not even that important.
2. Trust Your Intuition
There were many times to where my “gut feeling” told me to say no or that something/ a situation wasn’t right for me. Instead of listening to my intuition I would listen to logic or someone else’s explanation. If I listened to my intuition, I would have avoided a lot of conflicts I had in my life.
3. There’s No Need to Rush
I realized that most of my 20s, I was on other people’s timeline. I did what was expected of me and would rush the process. What I realize now is that you have to do things on your timeline. Only you know what it takes and what you are fully capable of.
4. People Do Not Change, Just the Circumstance
They say you can not change someone. This is the truth. After understanding that you can not change someone, you have to understand that if someone seems to change it may just be the environment changing around them. It usually takes something life altering for someone to actually change.
I had so many people that I respected tell me to relax. I would ignore this and shrug it off as “you don’t know me”. The thing is, I was rushing to fulfill someone else’s timeline or expectations. If I actually listened to myself, I would have relaxed and enjoyed myself more in my 20s.
6. You Do Not Have to be Perfect
I am a perfectionist. I know this and I also know that there is no such thing as perfection, yet I still tried to be perfect. The stress that comes with trying to perfect can be debilitating. When I would try to be perfect, I would actually put myself on the back burner. When I was trying to be perfect, I was trying to fulfill a criteria which was set by someone else.
7. I Should Learn All About Money
I grew up in a culture that didn’t talk about money. Once you are an adult, it really is your responsibility to educate yourself with the things that you are lacking. Learn about different ways to invest, IRAs, tax brackets, how to save, etc. Knowledge of these things help financially carve your future.
8. Find Ways to Take Care of Yourself
You know that millennial word “self-care”. I would work myself to the bone and then never refuel. Self-care It could be as simple as carving out time to read a book or getting a massage.
9. Don’t Worry About What other People Think of You
These are not redundant points, but they do go hand-in-hand. If I didn’t worry about what other people thought of me, I would have relaxed and not rushed through my 20s.
10. A Lot of People Do Not Know What They are Talking about
As a child, you think the adults hold all of the answers. In your teens, you start seeing it a little less that way, but your perception of age is still off. As you get some years into your real adulting you realize 30/40/50/60/70/80…. year olds still get it wrong. We are all just playing this game called life and trying to get what we think that we deserve at the end of it.