Guying texting

How To Text A Girl: Dating 101

Guying texting

I was talking to a friend about a guy who had succeeded in receiving my number, but failed on successfully communicating with me. Whenever we talked or saw each other, it was a great time and we were clearly both interested in each other. What he failed at was communication, which puzzled me since he communicated for a living. After listening to my rant, she goes, “oh he just doesn’t know how to communicate with girls”.

Then it clicked. People know how to communicate. We do it all the time, but when it comes to someone that we have interest in, our emotions get in the way of communicating.

75% of millennials would rather text than talk, but we were never taught how to use this form of communication, since it was never done before.

Here is how to text a girl: Dating 101

How to approach a woman and ask her for her number:

I want to start at the very beginning of approaching a woman, the old fashion way. Say you are in a bar, lounge or such. Approach her and start a conversation. After you have a rapport with her, ask her for her number.  What should the rapport be? Talk about something that creates an interest in her, for you. When you are approaching a woman and asking her for her number, you are basically selling yourself and why you would be a good fit in her life. After you create interest, ask for the number. If she is hesitant, do not get discouraged, remember an hour ago, she didn’t know who you were.

woman receiving a text

When exchanging numbers, make sure you receive hers and then also have her put her name in your phone. This will allow for no mistakes when trying to reach back out. The most important thing, is when you walk away, send a cute and short text to her about how nice it was to meet her and something that insinuates that you do want to see her in the future. If you are bad with names, screen shot her name. This will help you remember.

 

How to ask a girl for her number from a dating site:

text messages

If you are on a dating site, it should be easier to know someone’s interest because they are on the site to usually “date”. Once again, do not jump the gun, but also do not take too long as it may look like you are prolonging the process to weigh your options. That is dangerous, especially if you are actually interested in the person. Build the rapport that I was mentioning earlier and then once you have built a common interest ask for the number and to take her out. If, you are hesitant to ask for her number, ask her out and then the day of, ask for her number and state something to her like, “in case the area does not have wifi”.

After the date, text her in regard to thanking her for coming out and something about the evening. You want to be memorable and also stand out, so be memorable and stand out when texting, communicating with her.

How to text a girl off of social media:

First you have to get the number, right? This can be hard. Watch the video above about getting the number from a social media site. Social media is sometimes used as a dating app, but for some it is a way to communicate with friends or sell products. You have to know who you are talking to. Once again, do not ask for the number too early. If you have a private account, take into account for that. Also, cater to the person you are talking to. Getting a phone number off of social media may take much longer, because the purpose is not concrete like a dating app or in person. 

One of the biggest fails I have seen with guys trying to get my number off of social media is doing too much too soon. Not letting it organically happen. Not trying to communicate and learn who I am because they are assuming off of posts and pressuring me. 

How to text a girl once you receive her number off of social media:

Now this is different because, now that you have her number, what is the difference between you texting and direct messaging? You need to create a difference. At the end of the day, if you are not meant to be, you can still be acquaintances or friends if you communicate properly. 

Be different and do something different than what you were doing the dms.

How to text a girl if you feel like she is losing interest:

Girl receiving a text

This is actually quite easy. Go right back to what you were doing in the beginning and repeat it. Too often people get comfortable in relationships and forget to do the things that they were doing in the beginning of the relationship. This is not good at all. You want her to smile when she reads your texts. You want to remember your goal of the relationship with her. Asking her about her day and learning about her life is important. You also want to share. 

Not everyone is a text communicator. If you feel like she is losing interest through texts, ask her preference on communicating. 

Meet up with her. If it is not a long distance relationship, then ask her out on a date to keep the chemistry going and to build on it.

Here is how to text girls to meet up with you:

Make her feel comfortable and safe by not applying pressure. Ask her out directly by supplying the place and time, but do not be overbearing. 

How to text a girl

Do not do too much too soon. 

You want her to smile when you text her and it is easy, keep it positive. If she asks you about your day, text her a positive thing about your day. When you are beginning to text, you are learning her texting style and social cues. Do not move or assume too much too fast. 

The phone calls and text messages from guys are the ones that do not leave me feeling peaceful when the call ends. 

You don’t have to type in complete sentences, but watch your spelling and grammar. No need to use grammarly, or maybe you should. During your initial stages, you are trying to leave a great impression. Do that by making sure your text messages sound intelligent. 

Use emojis to help create context behind the sentence. 

Do not rush into marriage mode too fast. 

How to text when you have nothing to text about:

People, in general, love to talk about themselves. You can ask her about her job or siblings. Ask her about her accomplishments or proudest moments. Tell her about a movie you just watched and ask her if she has seen it. “If you ask about her favorite movie and if you haven’t seen it, make an effort to see it.” Make jokes. Being funny goes a long way.

When texting a girl, when do I ask her out?

Once you have built comradely with her, you also want her to be curious about who you are. Light conversations through text and real conversations in person, if this not a long distance relationship. 

If you are the one that approached her, you should be the one asking her out. Do not take too long to ask her out, because it looks like you maybe weighing your options, especially if you received her number over a social media site.

How to not text a girl:

  1. Do not be hot and cold.
  2. Do not play games with the texting reply times. This little game has been exposed. Too many times people are hot in the beginning and the pull back. It leaves the other person to wonder why they are pulling back and their assumption is not always true. 

You do not need to text all day, but when you do, make sure there is substance to it and that you text her back quickly. 

I have seen so much bad advice about making her wait. If you make certain women wait, you will be waiting for the rest of times. Certain women do not play games, and honestly those are the ones that are more solid because their confidence is much higher that the ones that are doubtful. 

Double texting is not a bad thing depending on the situation. You have to cater to the person and situation. Individualize your communication and stop with the cookie-cutter dating. 

I have friends that are single mothers and sometimes their kids have their phones.

I have friends that work 12 hour days and the last thing they want is to be pressured at the end of the day. 

3. Do no be overbearing. Remember, she doesn’t owe you anything. You approached her. Be patient, but also persistent without being needy. You want to be a part of her life, not her whole life. 

How to text a girl recap: 

  1. Get her number by applying the principles directed above.
  2. Create a bond by learning who she is and figuring out what you two have in common. 
  3. Make her curious about you through texting. 
  4. Do not be desperate.
  5. Be positive in text and leave the real conversation to when you meet up with her. 
  6. Watch your grammar and spelling.
  7. Do not play games through text
  8. Make your intentions known.
  9. Do not wait too long to ask her out.
proxemics and the surprise attraction

Proxemics and The Surprised Attraction

We've all been there before. That moment when you have a really good friend and then out of nowhere you begin to find them surprisingly attractive. There is a word to describe it: Proxemics.

proxemics and the surprise attraction

Photo by Jasmine Carter from Pexels

The idea of proxemics is very real. The more time you spend with someone within your preference, the more you will become attracted to that person. So the thought begins to linger in your mind: Should we potentially ruin our friendship with trying to be more than friends? Should we give into temptation and become intimate with each other? Those questions among others are answered by the Thundercats on this week’s episode.

Also in this episode, P-Mac & He-Man discuss brutal honesty and how it may hurt your significant other in the moment, but how they will learn to respect you for it in the long run. Find out all of this and more on The Welcome 2 Forever Podcast Episode 63, “Jinkies”.

About

Chambers Street Enterprises brings to you The Welcome 2 Forever Podcast featuring The Thundercats, Paul “P-Mac” Chambers (@MacsWorldCSE) and Starlen “He-Man” Roddy (@Thundercat254). Join the guys on this wild ride as they discuss everything in regards to relationships, sex and crazy life situations these two best friends have experienced along the way.

The Welcome 2 Forever Podcast is available on Soundcloud, Spotify and IHeart Radio. Also YouTube on Chambers Street TV.

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In Episode 31 of Love and Lust, The Podcast, Ana Lefebvre and Camille Corbett discuss social issues such as Misogyny in Today’s Society.

Misogyny is the dislike of women, contempt of women, or prejudice against women. Just like systematic racism, misogyny has been going on for so long that many people spread it without a second thought.

Love and Lust, The Podcast, has a mission to highlight and bring attention to these social issues. Hopefully after listening to Episode 31 people can start to recognize when they are being misogynistic and news flash, women can be misogynistic too. 

Sexism occurs so vastly that everyone must be very aware of what misogyny is and how to stop it. I have found out that a lot of people are unconscious of their Misogynist behavior. Sweetie and Doja Cat came out with a song recently, called Best Friend, where they called out the “fake-woke” men that are actually misogynistic. If you are unaware if you are a misogynist please click here.

Also discussed in Episode 31 of Love and Lust is the different Shapes of Vaginas. To view what types of vaginas you might have seen (*wink *wink) click here.

Help Love and Lust become a Top Podcast for Relationship Advice by subscribing on your channel of choice.

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About Camille Corbett

Twitter

To check out her Pilot: @crystalandchelsea 

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Relationship Communication is what Love & Lust the podcast is about. It is Ana Lefebvre’s mission in life to give women a voice in the bedroom. Communication starts in the home and transcends to every other avenue of your life: career, finances, etc. “Once I took charge of my life in its complete entity, everything began to change for the better.” – Ana Lefebvre  

Questions for Love and Lust?  Please leave them here. 

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Top 4 Rules for the Casual Sex Relationship

Casual Sex- Sexual Activity Between Individuals That Are Not Committed to Each Other

Top 4 Rules for the Casual Sex Relationship

This topic was sparked during Love and Lust’s Episode 23 I do not believe anything you say After Sex. A Page From My F***Buddy Rule Book (Ft. Westside).

Make sure you listen to or watch the Love and Lust podcast about Casual Sex. If you have any questions, please e-mail Ana Lefebvre at itsanalefebvre@gmail.com.  

Prior to this Love and Lust Episode, I didn’t believe anything that is said after sex, but after this episode, I have changed my mind. I have changed the rule to the first 48. The first 24 before and then the 24 hours after a casual hookup, one-night stand/ two-night stand, situationship, entanglement, or just plainly – a casual sex relationship.

Now, this is with someone that you do not have any commitment to and have never talked about a future with or have discussed a future with and they have not confirmed that they want one with you. One of those stagnant casual sex situations that are clearly just a good time.

I think that sometimes we forget to enjoy the moments and we try to impose our ideas of a relationship on something that should be one of those situations of “it is what it is”. We look for more into something that we have not communicated that we want more with. Keep in mind, most relationships end. Not everyone is compatible or good for us.

Here are my Top 4 Casual Sex Rules:

  1. You can not change someone; therefore, if they say they do not want anything that represents a commitment. Believe them. Now, if you can handle that, treat your situation as a casual sex relationship and do not push for more unless the person agrees to more.

2. Do not give relationship benefits to a casual sex relationship. You are giving this person too much of yourself and perhaps blocking your true match, by spending too much time with this person or putting too much energy into this casual sex engagement. Do not blur the lines. It is what it is.

3. Don’t believe the sweet nothings that are whispered in your ear when the person fails to commit to anything. This aligns with the topic of the first 48.

Now, I was asked if this applies to both males and females. I am heavy into communication. Why would something be acknowledged and said one time? I also express in other episodes of Love and Lust, that the bedroom is the room to relax and have fun. It shouldn’t be the place where you hold heavy conversations and discussions even if it is a casual hook-up.

4. Know when to end it.  The spark will eventually fade and it will be time to move on. Do not ghost the other person, but communicate when it’s time for you to move on. 

Related: 14 Tips for Female O

  • The female libido depends on the individual. 
  • I have explained in previous podcasts that about 70% of women do not have an orgasm from sexual intercourse. My question to you, if you were used to not having an orgasm, would you always want sex?
  • Female Oral Sex is extremely important since this how most females reach an orgasm, but is seen as optional*.
  • There’s no female viagra (think about that).

Did you know that females can have multiple orgasms and different types?

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Did you know most women only have an orgasm from vaginal stimulation- oral sex?

Female Oral Sex
Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Oral sex is important for both parties. Statistically, it is the best way for females to reach an orgasm.  Here are 14 tips to help with the female orgasm. 

  1. Try doing it the way you are comfortable with before adding anything.

  2. Communicate with your partner when stimulating them orally and with your hands. 

  3. Try different angles.

  4. Stroke across versus up and down. 

  5. Try stroking the sides of the clit and the clitoral hood.*

  6. Stimulate the area between the anus and vagina, if your partner is open to this.

  7. Try giving oral with her hips lifted (use a pillow).

  8. If anal play is liked, trying stimulating in doggy position. 

  9. Try vibrators.

  10. Try lubricants.

  11. Watch how she masturbates.* 

  12. Watch lesbian porn.*

  13. Tease

  14. If you care, don’t give up.

The key is to communicate and to have fun with it. Both parties should enjoy it. Have fun exploring the female sexuality.

2.

Watch the After Show Here

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Female Sexuality

Sexuality- your attraction, behaviors, feelings and thoughts towards others, sexually.

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I wrote this podcast series because of the misconception about women’s sexuality.

I believe it is best to start at the very beginning to actually understand the cultural and economic circumstances that surround female sexuality measuring cup.

1. Female sexuality is culturally and economically related.

2. Females are traditionally supposed to make themselves desirable, but nothing more. If a woman is sexually forward, negative innuendo are often said about her. 

3. Society throws the fairytale view of romance to women and they often subconsciously use this as the romance measuring cup.

4. We as women, must change the current narrative of the female sexuality. 

Related: 14 Tips for Female O

  • The female libido depends on the individual. 
  • I have explained in previous podcasts that about 70% of women do not have an orgasm from sexual intercourse. My question to you, if you were used to not having an orgasm, would you always want sex?
  • Female Oral Sex is extremely important since this how most females reach an orgasm, but is seen as optional*.
  • There’s no female viagra (think about that).

Did you know that females can have multiple orgasms and different types?

2.

Watch the After Show Here

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I get asked this question a lot. It is a real fear that exists for guys, but the friend zone should not be something that you are afraid of, I mean at least you are in a zone right? Please note that the YouTube video and Podcast is different. 

Click below to watch or listen to relationship advice about “Signs that You are in the Friend Zone” and why you should not be afraid of it. Also, when should you friend zone yourself? 

2.

Watch the After Show Here