All posts by : Ana Lefebvre

Oh, dating apps. Do you love or hate them?

Regardless of your feelings about them, it is the most contemporary way to date in the current millennial culture. 

This guide will help you regarding how to start your conversation when you are dating online. An intriguing one liner is what you need initially. But how to prose the perfect initial statement?

Let’s find out a few methods that you can use for starting a conversation on a dating app.

You can start the conversation with a question

Think of an interesting question to ask. I have a friend that is a pro on these apps. He has 5-7 pictures on either tinder or bumble and he starts his conversations depending on the picture that the person clicked on. If it is an outdoorsy picture, he talks about something pertaining to being outside. If it is a formal picture, he curates his initial question, well formally.

If it is a food picture, then talk about food. Do you see where I am going here?

It can be a would you rather related question or you can go for the question that is a little bit more quirky to give an edge to the conversation. Just don’t overdo it and ask something that is completely random and not individualized. 

You can also ask for recommendations

Actually read their bio and look at their pictures. There is a difference between coming off as observant versus stalkerish. Observe a fact about them and ask for a recommendation leaning towards that. This is an incredibly easy way to start a conversation on a dating app. 

Start with a fact about yourself

You can start with a fact about yourself and leave room for discussion, by asking a question at the end about it. Once again, curate towards the person. Don’t open with a random fact just about yourself. Tie yourself and the person together. 

For example, if I saw a picture of them in Chicago I would say something like:

“I’ve never been to Chicago, what would be something you recommend doing if I go.”

Make sure you are sincere in your questions. This can be the perfect icebreaker to start with and also, an easy way to begin a conversation. 

Complement their bio

If you find something interesting in their bio, use it as an opportunity to break the ice and start a conversation with the other person. Once again, make sure you leave it open-ended.

Do not be sugar-sweet

Be yourself and do not overdo it. When you are being a little too extra (not yourself)  it can be seen as a red flag. Be nice and be real. Being authentic to yourself is what matters the most. 

Ask them questions about their goals 

Asking about their future may be too ambitious, but asking for their goals is different. When you are starting to talk to someone it is important that you understand what they want, but don’t push it. Live in the moment a bit. It will help you to align yourself with them and you will know if you are on the same page or not.

It will give you more ideas regarding what to talk about and what not to talk about. 

Once again, read the bio. They may not be on the dating app for the same reasons that you are on it and do not be too intense. Do not ask something that is uncomfortable. “Where do you see yourself in five years?”- is way too much. Instead, ask them about something that is not so far out. 

Spark the chemistry with quirky questions and do not rush things

If you are moving too fast it might deter the other person; therefore, it is best that you keep it slow but start with quirky conversation starters initially.

Think of something that is creative and lighthearted. When you both are comfortable with each other, it is easier to learn about the other person.

Wondering what to start with?

Let me help you out with a few ways to start a conversation on a dating app:

• You can ask them about their photos.
• You can ask them if there are places that they want to visit. I would ask this if you find photos regarding travel on their profile, or something about traveling in their description. In the initial conversation, do not ask random questions. It is more sincere when you ask a question pertaining to them. 
• You can ask them about their work and their job and open the floor to discussing yours. Work can be a great conversation starter.
• You can talk about your favorite music or their favorite singer. You can discuss movies that you like and the books that you’ve read. Food is also a great conversation starter. Apps like Tinder also have an option to list your favorite Spotify songs. Once again, I can not stress this enough, initially discuss things that pertain to them. 

Try not to be a conversation killer and keep your conversation open-ended.

Caution:

I would be careful of the over-the-top compliments at the beginning of the conversation because they can come off insincere.

Make sure that you are not making fun of yourself because it might seem self-deprecating and show a lack of confidence.

Make sure you are approachable. When you are approachable and you are asking open ended questions, you are allowing room for a conversation. 

Also, check the app. Do not get on and message people only to respond days later. If you want to be successful on the app then you need to be proactive on the dating app.