I was talking to a friend about a guy who had succeeded in receiving my number, but failed on successfully communicating with me. Whenever we talked or saw each other, it was a great time and we were clearly both interested in each other. What he failed at was communication, which puzzled me since he communicated for a living. After listening to my rant, she goes, “oh he just doesn’t know how to communicate with girls”.
Then it clicked. People know how to communicate. We do it all the time, but when it comes to someone that we have interest in, our emotions get in the way of communicating.
75% of millennials would rather text than talk, but we were never taught how to use this form of communication, since it was never done before.
Here is how to text a girl: Dating 101
How to approach a woman and ask her for her number:
I want to start at the very beginning of approaching a woman, the old fashion way. Say you are in a bar, lounge or such. Approach her and start a conversation. After you have a rapport with her, ask her for her number. What should the rapport be? Talk about something that creates an interest in her, for you. When you are approaching a woman and asking her for her number, you are basically selling yourself and why you would be a good fit in her life. After you create interest, ask for the number. If she is hesitant, do not get discouraged, remember an hour ago, she didn’t know who you were.
When exchanging numbers, make sure you receive hers and then also have her put her name in your phone. This will allow for no mistakes when trying to reach back out. The most important thing, is when you walk away, send a cute and short text to her about how nice it was to meet her and something that insinuates that you do want to see her in the future. If you are bad with names, screen shot her name. This will help you remember.
How to ask a girl for her number from a dating site:
If you are on a dating site, it should be easier to know someone’s interest because they are on the site to usually “date”. Once again, do not jump the gun, but also do not take too long as it may look like you are prolonging the process to weigh your options. That is dangerous, especially if you are actually interested in the person. Build the rapport that I was mentioning earlier and then once you have built a common interest ask for the number and to take her out. If, you are hesitant to ask for her number, ask her out and then the day of, ask for her number and state something to her like, “in case the area does not have wifi”.
After the date, text her in regard to thanking her for coming out and something about the evening. You want to be memorable and also stand out, so be memorable and stand out when texting, communicating with her.
How to text a girl off of social media:
First you have to get the number, right? This can be hard. Watch the video above about getting the number from a social media site. Social media is sometimes used as a dating app, but for some it is a way to communicate with friends or sell products. You have to know who you are talking to. Once again, do not ask for the number too early. If you have a private account, take into account for that. Also, cater to the person you are talking to. Getting a phone number off of social media may take much longer, because the purpose is not concrete like a dating app or in person.
One of the biggest fails I have seen with guys trying to get my number off of social media is doing too much too soon. Not letting it organically happen. Not trying to communicate and learn who I am because they are assuming off of posts and pressuring me.
How to text a girl once you receive her number off of social media:
Now this is different because, now that you have her number, what is the difference between you texting and direct messaging? You need to create a difference. At the end of the day, if you are not meant to be, you can still be acquaintances or friends if you communicate properly.
Be different and do something different than what you were doing the dms.
How to text a girl if you feel like she is losing interest:
This is actually quite easy. Go right back to what you were doing in the beginning and repeat it. Too often people get comfortable in relationships and forget to do the things that they were doing in the beginning of the relationship. This is not good at all. You want her to smile when she reads your texts. You want to remember your goal of the relationship with her. Asking her about her day and learning about her life is important. You also want to share.
Not everyone is a text communicator. If you feel like she is losing interest through texts, ask her preference on communicating.
Meet up with her. If it is not a long distance relationship, then ask her out on a date to keep the chemistry going and to build on it.
Here is how to text girls to meet up with you:
Make her feel comfortable and safe by not applying pressure. Ask her out directly by supplying the place and time, but do not be overbearing.
Do not do too much too soon.
You want her to smile when you text her and it is easy, keep it positive. If she asks you about your day, text her a positive thing about your day. When you are beginning to text, you are learning her texting style and social cues. Do not move or assume too much too fast.
The phone calls and text messages from guys are the ones that do not leave me feeling peaceful when the call ends.
You don’t have to type in complete sentences, but watch your spelling and grammar. No need to use grammarly, or maybe you should. During your initial stages, you are trying to leave a great impression. Do that by making sure your text messages sound intelligent.
Use emojis to help create context behind the sentence.
Do not rush into marriage mode too fast.
How to text when you have nothing to text about:
People, in general, love to talk about themselves. You can ask her about her job or siblings. Ask her about her accomplishments or proudest moments. Tell her about a movie you just watched and ask her if she has seen it. “If you ask about her favorite movie and if you haven’t seen it, make an effort to see it.” Make jokes. Being funny goes a long way.
When texting a girl, when do I ask her out?
Once you have built comradely with her, you also want her to be curious about who you are. Light conversations through text and real conversations in person, if this not a long distance relationship.
If you are the one that approached her, you should be the one asking her out. Do not take too long to ask her out, because it looks like you maybe weighing your options, especially if you received her number over a social media site.
How to not text a girl:
- Do not be hot and cold.
- Do not play games with the texting reply times. This little game has been exposed. Too many times people are hot in the beginning and the pull back. It leaves the other person to wonder why they are pulling back and their assumption is not always true.
You do not need to text all day, but when you do, make sure there is substance to it and that you text her back quickly.
I have seen so much bad advice about making her wait. If you make certain women wait, you will be waiting for the rest of times. Certain women do not play games, and honestly those are the ones that are more solid because their confidence is much higher that the ones that are doubtful.
Double texting is not a bad thing depending on the situation. You have to cater to the person and situation. Individualize your communication and stop with the cookie-cutter dating.
I have friends that are single mothers and sometimes their kids have their phones.
I have friends that work 12 hour days and the last thing they want is to be pressured at the end of the day.
3. Do no be overbearing. Remember, she doesn’t owe you anything. You approached her. Be patient, but also persistent without being needy. You want to be a part of her life, not her whole life.
How to text a girl recap:
- Get her number by applying the principles directed above.
- Create a bond by learning who she is and figuring out what you two have in common.
- Make her curious about you through texting.
- Do not be desperate.
- Be positive in text and leave the real conversation to when you meet up with her.
- Watch your grammar and spelling.
- Do not play games through text
- Make your intentions known.
- Do not wait too long to ask her out.