Side Chick Contract

photo of woman behind door

A “side chick contract” is a term that gained popularity in casual and colloquial language, often on social media or in pop culture references. It’s not a legally binding document but rather a humorous or sarcastic way to describe an agreement between two people involved in a non-primary relationship. Here’s a breakdown of what such a “contract” might involve:

  1. Confidentiality: The agreement might specify the importance of keeping the relationship secret to avoid any interference with the primary relationship. This could include not posting about the relationship on social media or keeping discussions private.

  2. Boundaries: It may set clear boundaries regarding emotional involvement. This means acknowledging that the relationship is primarily physical or casual and not intended to lead to a deeper, committed connection.

  3. Availability: Both parties might agree on specific times or days for communication or meeting up, as the nature of this relationship often revolves around convenience rather than constant availability.

  4. Expectations: The contract could outline what each person expects from the relationship, whether it’s companionship, physical intimacy, or other aspects, while also delineating what they are not expecting, such as commitment or exclusivity.

Remember, these “contracts” are more of a playful or ironic concept rather than a legally binding agreement. They’re used humorously to depict the terms of a non-committal or extramarital affair and aren’t meant to be taken seriously in a legal context.

Here is an example of a “side chick contract” that involves using humor and irony while highlighting the casual and non-committal nature of the relationship. Here’s a light-hearted and fictional example:


Side Chick Contract

This agreement (“the Contract”) is made effective as of [Date], between [Side Chick’s Name] (“the Side Chick”) and [Partner’s Name or Alias] (“the Main Squeeze”).

1. Confidentiality Clause: The Side Chick agrees to keep all rendezvous, inside jokes, and heart emojis strictly confidential. No social media posts, no tagging, no carrier pigeons. Discretion is our middle name.

2. Boundaries and Emotional Frontier: The Side Chick acknowledges that the relationship is solely for moments of laughter, great conversations, and, let’s face it, mind-blowing Netflix sessions. Any heart-to-heart talks or discussions about the meaning of life will be redirected to a pet goldfish named Phil.

3. Availability Arrangement: Both parties agree to a schedule, wherein Sunday brunches and Tuesday taco nights are sacred. Emergency late-night calls are reserved for instances involving alien invasions or a dire need for ice cream.

4. Expectations Enumeration: The Side Chick shall expect spontaneous adventures, occasional compliments, and top-tier memes. The Main Squeeze shall not expect monogamy, joint bank accounts, or a spare key to the Side Chick’s apartment.

In witness whereof, the Parties have executed this Contract as of the date first above written.

[Signed by Side Chick] _________________________

[Signed by Main Squeeze] _________________________


Please note that this is entirely satirical and not meant to represent an actual legally binding agreement. It’s created for humorous purposes to illustrate the lighthearted nature of such “contracts.”

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