Sex vs. Intimacy

Sex vs Intimacy and the Difference Between the Two

Sex vs. Intimacy

Amanda Palmer has said the most beautiful thing about sex and intimacy. She says,  there is a difference between when you want others to see you than to look at you.

“There’s a difference between wanting to be looked at and wanting to be seen. One is exhibitionism, the other is connection. Not everybody wants to be looked at. Everybody wants to be seen.”   -Amanda Palmer

The same goes for sex and intimacy. Most of the world is deprived of both of these things these days, but it is sad to say that they cannot find the difference between these two things.

Intimacy is  more  than just a physical relationship, unlike like  sex when you are physically in contact with someone else. Intimacy includes the vulnerability of each other in which they are prone to any pretentiousness and are in their natural habitat. It is about opening yourself to others and sharing your darkest secrets or incidents of your life.

Sex Vs. Intimacy

Image by Solie Jordan from Pixabay

In plain English, it is a non-physical  existing link or connection between two human beings who are in search of a long-lasting relationship. It could be between any two persons, whether it be a couple of opposite or same gender or two friends. In sex, it is also possible that the connection in sex could be from only one side, but this is not the case with intimacy. Intimacy begins when the feeling is mutual and both people feel the same about each other. You can also be intimate with someone non-sexually (like with family or friends). 

What is sex without intimacy?

Sex is a symbol or a representation within intimacy. Sex can be included in intimacy, but it is not the same vice versa. You cannot call it intimacy and the only in the form of or symbol of intimacy that you and your partner(s) have is sex. It could be expressed in many other ways.

However, if you want to ask what sex is if there is no intimacy, it is just for fun. The one-night stand concept (getting in bed with a stranger for one “night” to enjoy sexual intimacy with them) is common in our society (especially millennial relationships). Some people view sex without intimacy just as a fun act and not harmful for people (safe sex please). Sex is also a sign of a healthy relationship between two people (or more) that are madly in love with each other.

Sex and love are two different things. For married couples, or people who have commitments with their partners, sex without intimacy becomes less complicated over time. In sex, there are no rules or any restrictions of showing deep feelings of love to your partner. You can also enjoy it in a way in which you fool around and have casual sex without showing romance to your partner.

Kirill Palii on Unsplash wp-image-8271 size-medium alignnone” src=”https://myunboundedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/kirill-palii-mFOJu2IGSt0-unsplash-300×300.jpg” alt=”The difference between sex and intamacy” width=”300″ height=”300″ />

Photo by Kirill Palii on Unsplash

In this regard, the “friends with benefit” concept has grown much more popular among the youth these days. People do have sex with their friends without falling in love with them. With friends, it becomes easier because they have a good bond with each other, which makes it less awkward. There is no doubt that sex and intimacy are two separate things, but sex can change the perspective of your thinking. It can make things wonderful or complicated simultaneously.

Sex vs Intimacy

In simple words, the major difference between sex and intimacy is that you can say sex is a type of intimacy. Sex or any sexual activity is the physical (sexual) intimacy that you create with your partner. Whereas intimacy has a wider spectrum in its meaning. Sex has nothing to do with emotions or feelings, but intimacy includes how you feel about your partner, whether sex is included or not.

Usually, the people who are unable to get over their previous relationships are the ones that had intimacy in their relationship or they developed deep feelings for their partner. Sexual relationships that have intimacy can be challenging to close. It leaves a hole or a shallow place in their life that they are unable to fill again. Mostly, people move on with their first love, start their new life, have a new partner, family, but they can never forget that intimacy that they had with their previous lovers.

Types of Intimacies:

There are many kinds, but mainly four usually comes forward, which are described as follows:

Emotional:

Emotions are a part of our life. When we come to a point at which we feel completely comfortable sharing our deepest desires or dark secrets with our lovers or friends, this is when you achieve emotional intimacy. We feel comfortable sharing our issues with our siblings before anyone else because we know they will understand instead of mocking us.

Intellectual:

It relates to sharing your opinions or ideas about certain things. It does not mean that you share because others will agree with you. It could start a debate, but at least you will be able to put forward what you think about a certain topic, and it is healthy when someone has one or more persons with whom they can share their opinions.

Experimental:

This is the basic level of intimacy that you achieve with anyone. It is like when you start bonding with someone in your leisure time. It means you have mutual interests and share hobbies and like to spend your free time. It is an example of syncing up in teamwork or acting in unison in some activities.

Sexual:

Last but not least, sexual intimacy. People often confuse and include their sexual intimacy as intimacy in general, but there is a vast difference. It involves sexual activities, which are mainly about feeling physical about your partner.

Conclusion of Sex vs Intimacy and The Difference Between the Two :

Sex and intimacy are two different topics. Although these can be interlinked, one must understand the concept of intimacy. Sex might not sustain the relationship; although it is integral, intimacy is something that will retain your relationship and make it last longer. Couples might lose interest in sex after 10 to 15 years of marriage, but intimacy maintains the relationship. Remember to understand intimacy and sex are different concepts but constitute an important part of any relationship. Make sure you are exploring this vast topic, there is a lot of depth that you must know of. Learn how you can better your relationship with better intimacy with your partner.

proxemics and the surprise attraction

Proxemics and The Surprised Attraction

We've all been there before. That moment when you have a really good friend and then out of nowhere you begin to find them surprisingly attractive. There is a word to describe it: Proxemics.

proxemics and the surprise attraction

Photo by Jasmine Carter from Pexels

The idea of proxemics is very real. The more time you spend with someone within your preference, the more you will become attracted to that person. So the thought begins to linger in your mind: Should we potentially ruin our friendship with trying to be more than friends? Should we give into temptation and become intimate with each other? Those questions among others are answered by the Thundercats on this week’s episode.

Also in this episode, P-Mac & He-Man discuss brutal honesty and how it may hurt your significant other in the moment, but how they will learn to respect you for it in the long run. Find out all of this and more on The Welcome 2 Forever Podcast Episode 63, “Jinkies”.

About

Chambers Street Enterprises brings to you The Welcome 2 Forever Podcast featuring The Thundercats, Paul “P-Mac” Chambers (@MacsWorldCSE) and Starlen “He-Man” Roddy (@Thundercat254). Join the guys on this wild ride as they discuss everything in regards to relationships, sex and crazy life situations these two best friends have experienced along the way.

The Welcome 2 Forever Podcast is available on Soundcloud, Spotify and IHeart Radio. Also YouTube on Chambers Street TV.

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About

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The Welcome 2 Forever Podcast is available on Soundcloud, Spotify and IHeart Radio. Also YouTube on Chambers Street TV.

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In Episode 31 of Love and Lust, The Podcast, Ana Lefebvre and Camille Corbett discuss social issues such as Misogyny in Today’s Society.

Misogyny is the dislike of women, contempt of women, or prejudice against women. Just like systematic racism, misogyny has been going on for so long that many people spread it without a second thought.

Love and Lust, The Podcast, has a mission to highlight and bring attention to these social issues. Hopefully after listening to Episode 31 people can start to recognize when they are being misogynistic and news flash, women can be misogynistic too. 

Sexism occurs so vastly that everyone must be very aware of what misogyny is and how to stop it. I have found out that a lot of people are unconscious of their Misogynist behavior. Sweetie and Doja Cat came out with a song recently, called Best Friend, where they called out the “fake-woke” men that are actually misogynistic. If you are unaware if you are a misogynist please click here.

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About Camille Corbett

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To check out her Pilot: @crystalandchelsea 

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Relationship Communication is what Love & Lust the podcast is about. It is Ana Lefebvre’s mission in life to give women a voice in the bedroom. Communication starts in the home and transcends to every other avenue of your life: career, finances, etc. “Once I took charge of my life in its complete entity, everything began to change for the better.” – Ana Lefebvre  

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Relationship Communication is what Love & Lust is about. It is my mission in life to give women a voice in the bedroom. Communication starts in the home and transcends to every other avenue of your life: career, finances, etc. Once I took charge of my life in its complete entity, everything began to change for the better. – Ana Lefebvre 
 
Top 4 Rules for the Casual Sex Relationship

Top 4 Rules for the Casual Sex Relationship

Casual Sex- Sexual Activity Between Individuals That Are Not Committed to Each Other

Top 4 Rules for the Casual Sex Relationship

This topic was sparked during Love and Lust’s Episode 23 I do not believe anything you say After Sex. A Page From My F***Buddy Rule Book (Ft. Westside).

Make sure you listen to or watch the Love and Lust podcast about Casual Sex. If you have any questions, please e-mail Ana Lefebvre at itsanalefebvre@gmail.com.  

Prior to this Love and Lust Episode, I didn’t believe anything that is said after sex, but after this episode, I have changed my mind. I have changed the rule to the first 48. The first 24 before and then the 24 hours after a casual hookup, one-night stand/ two-night stand, situationship, entanglement, or just plainly – a casual sex relationship.

Now, this is with someone that you do not have any commitment to and have never talked about a future with or have discussed a future with and they have not confirmed that they want one with you. One of those stagnant casual sex situations that are clearly just a good time.

I think that sometimes we forget to enjoy the moments and we try to impose our ideas of a relationship on something that should be one of those situations of “it is what it is”. We look for more into something that we have not communicated that we want more with. Keep in mind, most relationships end. Not everyone is compatible or good for us.

Here are my Top 4 Casual Sex Rules:

  1. You can not change someone; therefore, if they say they do not want anything that represents a commitment. Believe them. Now, if you can handle that, treat your situation as a casual sex relationship and do not push for more unless the person agrees to more.

2. Do not give relationship benefits to a casual sex relationship. You are giving this person too much of yourself and perhaps blocking your true match, by spending too much time with this person or putting too much energy into this casual sex engagement. Do not blur the lines. It is what it is.

3. Don’t believe the sweet nothings that are whispered in your ear when the person fails to commit to anything. This aligns with the topic of the first 48.

Now, I was asked if this applies to both males and females. I am heavy into communication. Why would something be acknowledged and said one time? I also express in other episodes of Love and Lust, that the bedroom is the room to relax and have fun. It shouldn’t be the place where you hold heavy conversations and discussions even if it is a casual hook-up.

4. Know when to end it.  The spark will eventually fade and it will be time to move on. Do not ghost the other person, but communicate when it’s time for you to move on. 

Related: 14 Tips for Female O

  • The female libido depends on the individual. 
  • I have explained in previous podcasts that about 70% of women do not have an orgasm from sexual intercourse. My question to you, if you were used to not having an orgasm, would you always want sex?
  • Female Oral Sex is extremely important since this how most females reach an orgasm, but is seen as optional*.
  • There’s no female viagra (think about that).

Did you know that females can have multiple orgasms and different types?

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I wrote this podcast series because of the misconception about women’s sexuality.

I believe it is best to start at the very beginning to actually understand the cultural and economic circumstances that surround female sexuality measuring cup.

1. Female sexuality is culturally and economically related.

2. Females are traditionally supposed to make themselves desirable, but nothing more. If a woman is sexually forward, negative innuendo are often said about her. 

3. Society throws the fairytale view of romance to women and they often subconsciously use this as the romance measuring cup.

4. We as women, must change the current narrative of the female sexuality. 

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  • The female libido depends on the individual. 
  • I have explained in previous podcasts that about 70% of women do not have an orgasm from sexual intercourse. My question to you, if you were used to not having an orgasm, would you always want sex?
  • Female Oral Sex is extremely important since this how most females reach an orgasm, but is seen as optional*.
  • There’s no female viagra (think about that).

Did you know that females can have multiple orgasms and different types?

2.

Watch the After Show Here